My Blog

When Life Is No Joke, Laugh Anyway
God made laughter to show us that things are seldom as bad as they seem.
By Joan Chittister, OSB Laughter liberates and laughter uplifts. When laughter comes into a life, nothing is too difficult, nothing can defeat us. We can survive the noonday sun and the darkness of death and the grinding boredom of dailiness and still find life exhilarating. Other things in life change color like chameleons on plaid, but laughter is always ornament, always grace. There are some things that must always be laughed at in life: 1. Laugh when people tell a joke. Otherwise you might make them feel bad. 2. Laugh when you look into a mirror. Otherwise you might feel bad. 3. Laugh when you make a mistake. If you don’t, you’re liable to forget how ultimately unimportant the whole thing really is, whatever it is. 4. Laugh with small children. It will restore your delight in the fundamental things of life. It will also improve your sense of humor. Have you ever noticed what children laugh at? They laugh at mashed bananas on their faces; mud in their hair; a dog nuzzling their ears; the sight of their bottoms as bare as silk. It renews your perspective. Clearly, nothing is as bad as it could be. 5. Laugh at situations that are out of your control. When the best man comes to the altar without the wedding ring, laugh. When the dog jumps through the window screen at the dinner guests on your doorstep, sit down and laugh awhile. When you find yourself in public wearing mismatched shoes, laugh–as loudly as you can. Why collapse in mortal agony? There’s nothing you can do to change things now. Besides, it is funny. Ask me; I’ve done it. 6. Laugh at anything pompous, at anything that needs to puff its way through life in robes and titles. Because laughter is a social virtue, it will help the rest of us see the difference between what is authentic in life and what is not. Will Rogers laughed at all the public institutions of modern life. For instance, “You can’t say civilization isn’t advancing,” he wrote. “In every war they kill you in a new way.” And thanks to his laughter we began to see what was going on around us in fresh and shocking perspective. 7. Finally, laugh when all your carefully laid plans get changed: when the plane is late and the restaurant is closed and the last day’s screening of the movie of the year was yesterday. You’re free now to do something else, to be spontaneous for a change, to take a piece of life and treat it with outrageous abandon. There are some things, of course, that do not qualify for laughter, that do not refresh the human heart, that set out to hurt whole classes of people, in fact, and that should never, under any conditions, be tolerated under the pretense of humor. Ethnic jokes and sexist sneers and racial slurs and jeering at physical limitations do not empty the human soul of debris. They simply fill it with a venom disguised as humor. The sign of laughter gone sour lies clearly in the charge, ‘What’s the matter with her? Can’t she take a joke?” Then the laughter goes hollow or guttural, weak or low. Though nothing at all may be said, everyone knows on the spot that kindness and clear vision have flown the place forever. In the final analysis, we should laugh at anything that is not a matter of life and death. The trick is to remember that only life and death are life and death. Then the canvas is broad and the palette is deep. The whole world becomes a jester’s paradise in which we laugh at what we did not foresee. Laughter is an antidote to dualism, a necessary foundation of mental health. To the one who laughs, life is good, the world is good, goodness is the ground on which we walk. No dualism here, no fear of body or soul, no rejection of the tattered truth of our existence. Just gentle, gentle wholeness tenderly handled, lovingly held. Finally, laughter enables us to live in a highly structured world without falling prey to the manacles of the mind that blind our eyes and cement our hearts. Laughter gives us the freedom of the Jesus who taught babies and poked fun at Pharisees and told winsome little stories, spiritual jokes, about women who would not let pretentious judges alone. Day after day he smiled his way from one theological absolute to another and left the world with enough to smile about until the end of time. Once we learn to laugh and play, we will have come closer to understanding our laughing, playing God. The God of ridiculous promises is a God who laughs, a God to be laughed at and laughed with, until that moment when all pain washes away and only the laughter of God is left to be heard in the heavens.

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How wonderful n how true??? I really love the above article…

Learn to laugh for urself n for others, cos world will b a joyous place that way… Learn how wonderful it is to laugh n to love other beings … Then u can find beauty … not in others but in urself…

Lov, Mel

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Optimism - 85.7% 2. Varied Interests - 85.7% 3. Friendliness - 81.3% 4. Generosity - 80% 5. Adventurousness - 75%	1. Financial Issues - 72.7% 2. Lack of Essentials - 58.3%

Dating Strengths Explained
Optimism - People are drawn to your positive outlook. Your optimism attracts others to you. Varied Interests - You don’t limit yourself, and that’s a dating asset. Your varied interests make you available and interesting to a wider range of guys. Friendliness - Your friendliness makes you approachable and fun to be around. A wide circle of friends also works to your advantage on the dating scene. Generosity - You are a giving person by nature. Others will see this quality in you and recognize your kind nature. Take care not to let others take advantage of you. Adventurousness - You are willing to try new things and be spontaneous. You want to get out there and really live, and you will attract people with a similar love of life.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Financial Issues - Your financial situation is not in good shape, and this does not bode well for you on the dating scene. Try to get on top of your financial difficulties. Lack of Essentials - Dating is difficult for you because you lack certain key things, which may include private space, a car, money, or a nice wardrobe. Work toward obtaining these essentials!
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

quite interesting - well dont try takin advantage from me ok cos the real me, is amazingly cunning LOL …. quite selfish actually… hmmm wonderin why they dont even rate my selfishness there …

Ohhh Dear Am I so poor? ?? ? Financial difficulties rated high ….. Ehmm, I guesss u all betta help me thennn, consider it as charity hahahaha

Hi All,

I found the article below and I found it to be quite beautiful……

After whole week full of activity, I wasnt feelin so well today at work… Was about to take half a day sickie but then I said to myself, I ll be fine, this pain like any other will go away…. True, I made it thru the day, WORKIN

The pain is no longer there, since today is just SUPER BUSY…. +)

Hope you guys will take good care of ur health… TAKE CARE

PS; Remember, You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. (Quote from Buddha)

Lov, Mel

Winter: A Time to Bloom Indoors
The cold winter months are a good time to find inner creativity. Here are ten ways to plant the seeds.
By Paula Chaffee Scardamalia

All creativity needs a period of rest and incubation. Just as Mother Earth slumbers under her winter blanket of snow, gathering resources and energy before her burst of creative rebirth in the spring, we, too, need this time of outward-seeming inactivity, a period of turning inward to meditate, contemplate, and just be.  Every year at this time my husband complains of feeling more tired.  I think it is just our need to hibernate along with the rest of Nature, to stop trying to push our schedules and calendars to their maximum tolerance, to replace some of our frenetic action with mindful stillness, reflection, and creation.

Winter is a good time for reading, both in your field of interest and outside it as well, in order to plant the seeds of new ideas and possibilities.  Winter is a good time for dreaming, both awake and asleep, and for recording those dreams for exploration and inspiration.  Winter is also a good time for experimenting with new crafts and revisiting old ones. It’s also a time for cleaning and organizing our creative spaces—and our dreaming spaces as well.

By the time spring arrives in her green gown and birds are singing outside the window once again, you can be ready to move back out into the world with renewed energy and clarity of vision.

Here are ten ideas to try if you want to take creative advantage of long nights and cold temperatures:

  Give yourself permission to use a half-hour or hour in the evening to put your feet up and read a book, peruse magazines in your field, or simply close your eyes and daydream.  This will plant creative seeds.

2.  Keep a journal (no, you don’t have to write in it every day, and the entries don’t have to be Pulitzer Prize material) to record ideas, quotes from your reading, and desires and inspirations from your dreaming.  These can even be in list form.

3.  If you have always wanted to knit, carve, paint, sing, whatever, winter is a good time to give it a try.  Sign up for a one-day introductory class or a few short evening classes. If you can’t get to a class, buy a how-to book and a few materials for a simple first project.

  Having a hard time getting started on a project? Tell yourself you’ll try it for 15 minutes. Breaking a project down into short chunks helps you overcome beginner’s inertia.

  Fight cabin fever. Go out to a movie, concert, play, or just to the bookstore.  These are great sources not only for inspiration but also motivation.

6.  Creating with friends is a great way to beat the winter blues.  Remember those sewing circles and quilting bees?  If quilting is not your thing, then invite friends over to cook a meal together, organize photos (that can generate great stories and numerous laughs), or plan next spring’s gardens.

7.  Check the space you give yourself to play or work creatively.  Is it attractive?  Is it organized?  What can you do to make the space more inviting and efficient?

8.   Low on energy and motivation?  Do some web surfing under headings related to your creative activity.  It is always fun and inspiring to see what others are doing and what is going on in the field.

9.  Try something you haven’t done before.  For example, quilters could try watercolors.  New challenges often bring new perspectives to creative work.

10.  Make plans for a summer conference, retreat, or workshop in your area of interest.  Getting information and making reservation brings the summer all that much closer.

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Anatta Lakkhana Sutta (Discourse on the Non Self Chrs)

The body is not self; The feeling is not self; Perception is not self; Mental processes is not self; Consciousness is not self; Because if those were the self, those elements would not leads to affliction. Those elements is inconstant and those that inconstant would lead to sufferings or pain…

I hav summarise the above Sutta and just take woteva I believe, wot non self is all about. It is about suffering for our mental state of mind is  always in continous change … Inconstancy means suffering…

When one can actually reach the constant state of mind, there will be no more suffering…. Wots there to suffer if u can’t feel extreme happiness or extreme pain???? +)

Thats my opinion, tho I dont think I ll eva be one of those wise one… I, myself crave for life on its flux of ups n downs. Tho sometimes drives me crazy, but at the same time, I feel grateful for wot life can offer n wot I learnt from it….

From all experiences Ive got, good and bad… I learnt to hate, to forgive, to be strong, to appreciate, to understand, and to love ……No matte how love fails us.. It is thru our love that we share and we give, is wot truly makes our lifes beautiful…  Mayb this too will change but for the time being, let it be…

The discourse of non self is sth beyond me… my Understanding is limited as I am still quite attached to wots around me…

Wish you all well n happy in woteva journey u’ve taken…

Always wif lov, Mel

Desire

According to Buddhist psychology, most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for, attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities. The pursuit of the objects of our desire and attachment involves the use of aggression and competitiveness…These mental processes easily translate into actions, breeding belligerence. Such processes have been going on in the human mind since time immemorial, but their execution has become more effective under modern conditions. What can we do to control and regulate these “poisons”—delusion, greed and aggression? For it is these poisons that are behind almost every trouble in the world. -His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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HI All,

Desire n Love - quite interestin dont u all agree? In my sociology class ages ago, we hav this discussion bout the above theme….

We watch the movie called Chocolate to help us distinguish btw the two feelins … I guess most of us experience the feelins - sometimes we’re confused which of those feelins are appropriate n how do we distinguish it, when it happens to us???

Dalai Lama put it really nicely, Desire = Delusion n therefore create attachment, which will then progress to sufferings n agressiveness.. but how can We prevent it? how can we control it??? cos the more we pushes it, the more it haunt us… =)

The answer not given by Dalai Lama, cos it lies within us … I guess those selfishness of wot so called desire, needs loving kindness as its prescription.. Universal lovin kindness meditation to divert our attachment to desire…

About Non-Self is another qty??? Mayb will talk bout it next time…

In the mean time, hope u guys well n happy in woteva endeavours u had in life ….

With Metta,

Mel

Hi All,

Today Im just feelin uncertain.. I dont know how to describe it, but there’s so many qty’s in my head atm…Hope  I ll find the answer one day
+)

Anyway I came across a beautiful blog and found a poem (check it out )
http://chocobabe81.blogs.friendster.com/while_theres_chocolate_th/2006/11/just_the_way_yo.html

Hope we all can find that special someone to care for n worthy to love….

Lov u All, Mel

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Just the Way You Are

I sit at my table, quite alone,
It’s always the same, even at home.
My hands on my chin, I let out a sigh,
I swear it, I could scream, "Why? Why? WHY?"
Ok, so I may not be a model,
Instead of singing, I yodel.
Infact, well….I am quite fat,
But what the Hell’s wrong with that??

School mates tend to laugh at me,
I wish I could make them see.
They’re always trying to bring me down,
"Hey guys, I’m not your Class Clown!"
Whatever I seem to do,
Their responses are "Get a clue!"
In total exasperation, I turn to work,
I hear one whisper, "What a jerk!"

And so here I am, my name’s Cassie,
The only child, the good old Lassie.
The one with no friends, the big fat Saint,
Ok, I’d better stop….hyperventilation makes me faint!
You can’t blame me for being a bitter old hag,
When it comes to looks, I’ve hit an impossible snag!
With frizzy hair and spots on my chin,
Crooked teeth…sheesh…how can I win?
So instead, I devote myself fully to books,
I’ll cash in on a degree, certainly not on looks!

So here I am, my nose in my book,
I suddenly hear my name, and sneak a look…
….at this gorgeous guy who’s standing infront of me,
My look turns to stare and he repeats, "Cassie?"
My hands begin to shake and my mouth goes dry,
What could I possibly say to such a handsome guy?
My lips somehow move and I croak out, "Hello."
He smiles at me…I’m going quite pale…infact, touching yellow.
"I hope you don’t mind," he said to me,
"You look quite alone…is this seat free?"
I slowly manage to nod my head,
"I’d like to join you for lunch," he said.

The next hour is the best I remember,
Him and me on that table, that cold wintry December.
Everyone else was staring at us,
I don’t believe that I had ever caused such a fuss!
Derek, his name was, cute, tan and tall,
He was talking to ME…if I was standing, heck, I’d fall!
We had so much in common, him and I,
So it wasn’t just his looks…it was everything…what a guy!
From books to science, to music as well,
You name it, we liked it…we must have been under a spell!

The lunch hour was over much too soon,
And all I could think about was him…the whole afternoon.
At night, as I lay curled up in bed,
All sorts of thoughts started to enter my head.
So he was new, he didn’t know any better,
Once he’d met REAL friends, he’d be sending me a goodbye letter.
Or maybe my table had the only seat free,
THAT’S why he chose to sit with me.
And surely if sitting together one would have to be polite,
And not tease, or bully or say "Hey Fatty!" in spite.
And so I told myself before going to sleep,
He really may be nothing but a creep.
Don’t expect him to sit with you tomorrow,
Coz if you do…the rest of your day will be filled with sorrow.
Tend to your books like the good girl you are,
Don’t get swallowed up by the cute guy with a big car.

The following day I’m at the table again,
I look out the window….torrential rain.
I hear a creak and turn around to see
Familiar hazel eyes staring right back at me.
"Derek, you came back!" I could hardly stutter,
"Of course I did!" he grinned…my heart was in a flutter.
"I didn’t expect to see you," I said, dropping my knife wth a clatter,
"You’re great company, Cassie," he said, "and that’s all that matters!"

We hear a snort and look up in surprise,
A big bully towers above us….they call him Will the Wise.
He bellows, "You should know better than to sit with that fat wench,"
"All she does is read her book and she practically lives on that bench!"
Everyone in the cafeteria suddenly stops talking,
People who are leaving, halt on their walking.
I feel myself go all red,
Suddenly, I’d much rather be dead.
Tears start to fall and I get up to go,
Derek stops me, and says to Will, "How can you stoop so low?"
"If you really want to talk about a goon,"
"All you need to do is look in a mirror, you big baboon!"
Will was stumped, he didn’t know what to say,
No one ever stood upto him, that is until today.
"Cassie and I were talking, or couldn’t you see?"
"And so now, like a good primate, go back to your tree!"
Derek stood there, continuing to look mad,
All everyone could do was mutter, "man" or, "egad!"
Will, ego deflated, left the table quite red,
All he wanted to do right now was hide under a bed.

I had sat there the entire time,
Before today, I hadn’t been worth a dime.
I really couldn’t believe my ears,
All I could stupidly say was a soft, "Cheers."
He patted my hand and gave me a smile,
"It’s been a long time since I’ve done that…yes, quite a while!"
"Why did you stick up for me?" I managed to ask in the end,
"Because," he said quite simply, "you are my friend!"

The days and weeks went quite fast,
My present looked sunny, unlike my dreary old past.
Derek and I were seldom apart,
Infact you could say, we were connected heart to heart.
He was beautiful inside, as well as out,
"He’s the best friend in the world!" I would proudly shout!
What he saw in me, I had no clue,
He always wanted to be with me, even when I had the flu.

A year later, he asked me on a date,
I was so nervous, yet careful not to be late.
At the table I asked, "Why me?"
He chuckled, "Oh Cassie, you are so silly!"
"Don’t you know I’m crazy about you?"
"You are so funny, honest, pretty and true."
"You think I’m pretty?" I ask in surprise,
"Oh yes," he replied, "you have beautiful eyes!"
"And no," he said, "You’re not what I’d call fat."
"You’re perfect to me, and so that’s that!"

"Let me tell you something, " he went on with a frown,
"I was burnt quite badly and it really got me down."
"I was only six years old at the time,"
"And a jealous friend was responsible for the crime."
"No one would talk to me, just like with you,"
"So I know exactly what you’ve gone through."
"I was miserable and sad, incredibly weak,"
"But a voice said inside of me, ‘Stand up and speak!’"
"So that’s what I did and now here I am,"
"It’s you that’s important, the rest don’t mean a damn!"
"You’re my best friend," I said in glee,
"You’re really the best thing that’s happened to me."
"You’ve taught me so much….I thank you my dear,"
"My world has become so crystal clear."

The years go by, one by one,
Two successful doctors, we’ve now become.
And here I am on my Wedding Day,
"That plain old girl really did it," I hear old classmates say.
"She’s confident, she’s calm, her clothes are always neat,"
"Infact, we must admit, Cassie is very very sweet!"

Derek gently presses my hand as we walk down the aisle,
I look up at him…we exchange a happy smile.
At the reception, we dance in each others arms,
Just him and I, to the wonderful tones of Brahms.
"I love you Derek," I say, as we head out to the car,
"And I love you, Cassie," he says softly with a kiss, "just the way you are!"

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

HI All, Its me again.. hope u guys dont miss my blog or me, too much..Huahahaha…Anyway, just got back from an overnite stay at bundanoon…

So many has changed wif the monastery n its for the better.. first time I was ther was in 2004, but then the second time was just yesterday….

Pretty amazed n inspired on the buildin of the pagoda n other places around forest monastery (wif limited funds, unskilled labour, n heavily reliance on donation, they manage to build a magnificient pagoda) ….

Today’s theme is to fully present in wot u do n enjoy it..

Normally  im just quite absorbed in doin wot im doin, n tell u the truth, I found pleasure in challengin myself that I can do this task better, no matte how small. Or if not betta, I challenge myself by livin fully in that moment n try my best wif a smile, knowin that I choose to do this wholeheartedly … So intention plays important role behind any decisions u make, so do pls b clear in ur intention or ur aims or goals … +)

My recipe would be acceptance of the task, analyze on how to do it best, Action ( if Action A fails, rmb thers always B and C) ….

Lov,

Mel

The Winds of Forgiveness
When someone does something to harm you, write your hurts in the sand. A parable for today.

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything wrote in the sand:

Today my best friend slapped me in the face.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning—but the friend saved him.

After  he recovered from the near-drowning, he wrote on a stone:

Today my best friend saved my life.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone. Why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.

Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve your benefits in stone

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Hi,

Nuffin much to say today… Hopefully u guys enjoy the story..

Wif metta, Mel

Your search among books, word upon word, may lead you to the depths of knowledge, but it is not the way to receive the reflection of your true self.

When you have thrown off your ideas as to mind and body, the original truth will fully appear. Zen is simply the expression of truth; therefore longing and striving are not the true attitudes of Zen.

-Dogen, "The Practice of Meditation"

Hi All,

Its me again . .. Today’s quote is basically about acknowledgin wots good for you and practicing it… cos knowledge wont be useful without practicing it…

Last nite, my sis asked me qty bout meditation.. comin from someone who neva practice meditation before, I was so eager to teach her… turns out, she;s the one who teaches me..

I normally practice loving kindness meditation, which can b difficult at times, when my action of the day is wrong n my heart filled with worries… Last nite, she asked me, durin meditation, hav u eva think of wot uve done on the day n just acknowledge wot uve done wrong ???

Im speechless cos I neva did, tats why I neva improve myself n my attitude toward others.. I can be quite abrupt n rude towards ppl ….

To those who I have hurted, pls accept my sincere apology and pls always keep reminding me of wots good n wots bad by offerin ur precious advice….

+)

Lov, Mel

Those whom we cannot stand are usually those who we cannot understand . PK SHAW

Quite upset today… Feelin anger and frustation…Cant believe how ppl are so ignorant and so inconsiderate!!!

arghhhh - well anyway i am tryin to rationalise those feelings that thers no point from being angry. … good intention in my heart thats wot matter, even if in the end, im the one left w/ pain….

I guess those ppl will neva learn to appreciate things, gratefullness is what they lack of… Feel sorry for those ppl, whose ignorant, cos they missed out the most wonderful experience in life… to b grateful for wots around u (bliss of contentment) and wonderful feeling of compassion (to love other beings wholeheartedly)…..