As human beings, we all make mistakes. Our unskillful thoughts, words, and actions cause harm to ourselves and those around us. Often, when we hurt others or are hurt by them, because of our pride we make no effort to reconcile or renew our relationships.

Without reconciliation, we cannot deepen our understanding and we only cause more suffering. Our practice is to renew our relationships on a regular basis. Every week we have time to go to concerts, cinema, shopping, and many other activities, but we rarely find the time to renew our relationships with the people who are close to us, our family members, friends, and colleagues.

The practice of Beginning Anew is a practice of reconciliation. Beginning Anew can be practiced between two people or as a group. As one person speaks, the other person practices deep listening without interrupting, allowing the first person to speak from the depths of her heart. In Beginning Anew we have three steps: sharing appreciation, expressing regret, and expressing hurt and difficulties.

In the first step, sharing appreciation, we practice to recognize and acknowledge the positive attributes of the other person. Every one of us has both wholesome and unwholesome seeds. When we express our appreciation for the other person’s positive qualities, we give him the opportunity to recognize the positive qualities in our own consciousness.

For instance, perhaps our son is very kind and hardworking. He studies well and often helps us out. But once in a while he makes a mistake, and we correct him strongly right away. Yet because we have not told him how much we appreciate him, when we correct him, he hears only our criticism and blame. In this situation our relationship will be difficult. To improve the situation, we practice sharing our appreciation. If our son is doing well in school, we compliment him. We practice in the same way with our partner, husband, wife, friends, and other people in our life. We can share our appreciation with each other at any time.

The second step of Beginning Anew is expressing regret. We take this opportunity to share with the other person our regrets for the things we have done or said that might have caused him pain. This requires humility and the willingness to let go of our own pain and pride. In the third step of Beginning Anew, we express our own hurt with mindful, loving speech, without blaming or criticizing. We speak in such a way that the other person can listen and receive our words. If we blame and condemn the other person, his heart will close and he will not be able to hear us. We ask the other person to help us to understand why he has spoken as he has, acted as he has to cause us so much pain. Perhaps at a later time he can share with us so that we can understand more deeply.

If a strong emotion arises in us while we are expressing our suffering, we should simply stop and come back to our breathing until the emotion subsides. The other person can support us by following his breathing until we are ready to continue. We can enjoy practicing Beginning Anew with our partner, our family, or our colleagues regularly. By doing this practice we will prevent small misunderstandings from accumulating. Rather, we will take care of them as they arise. At the same time, we cultivate our awareness and appreciation for the positive qualities our loved ones bring to our life. With understanding, all things become possible.

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Beginning ANEW is quite an interesting article.

I have no comment so far cos atm I dont have strong feeling to forgive that person whose given me a hard time… Im still feeling the pain - so much pain within … Practice of reconciliation should starts with forgiveness … Atm I dont have that tendency to forgive, cos it helps me to close my heart n keep my eyes blindfolded from those ppl who dont want me to exist… Since relationships wif those bloodsucker shudnt exist in the beginning, thers no point for me to reconcile…

Oh dear oh dear - I really dont know … I guess this too will change as time past by - I will forgive, but that too will takes time….

ANyway life’s go on, and why shud I expect the storm when I can enjoy the sun, the clean air and good ppl around… +)

Ohhh its gettin chilly nowadays, winter againnn… anyway Be sure to keep yourself warm from the cold weather …

Lov, Mel

The key to success in the workplace is loving what you do. You’ll try harder, be better at it, and have a happier life. By Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson Reprinted from ‘Success Built To Last.’ Used with permission.

Much is said today about the importance of loving what you do, but most people simply don’t buy it. Sure, it would be nice to do what you love, but as a practical matter, most people don’t feel they can afford such a luxury.

For many, doing something that really matters to them would be a sentimental fantasy based on wishful thinking. Here’s some really bad news: It’s dangerous not to do what you love. The harsh truth is that if you don’t love what you’re doing, you’ll lose to someone who does! For every person who is half-hearted about their work or relationships, there is someone else who loves what they’re half-hearted about. This person will work harder and longer. They will outrun you.

Although it might feel safer to hang onto an old role, you’ll find your energy is depleted and, miraculously, you’ll be the first in line for the layoffs when they come. All You Have Is Your Personal Capital You may have noticed that we now live in a global economy where job security is a contradiction in terms. All you have is your personal capital, and we’re not talking about your money. It’s your talents, skills, relationships, and enthusiasm. Making success last takes a level of tenacity and passion only love can sustain. Without it, you’ll collapse under the weight of the hardship or long-lasting adversity that you are bound to encounter.

Making a life is as important as making a living. This is not an either-or decision. Builders do both. You will hear this from most everyone who has enjoyed lasting success: entrepreneurs, government and religious leaders, artists and educators, single parents, social workers, Academy Award winners, carpenters, store managers, and billionaires. You will hear it from the most hard-boiled military generals and tough business guys like Larry Bossidy, author of a warm-and-fuzzy-sounding book called "Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done." Bossidy has never been accused of being touchy-feely.

On a bitter cold, clear day in Connecticut, we huddled in the tough-minded retired CEO’s home office built in a converted barn near a frozen pond, where we talked for hours about success and leadership. When we threw the "L" word at him, the steely-eyed former CEO didn’t flinch. "It’s a competitive imperative," he insisted. "Only by loving what you do will you actually do more and do it better than the person sitting next to you. If you don’t, well then, we’ll find someone who does." Yep, fear is a big motivator, too, but you’ll find that love lasts longer. You can run a marathon at gunpoint, but you probably won’t win the race. "You can survive without loving it, but you will be second-rate," said Brigadier General Clara Adams-Ender, Ret. "To spend any part of your career not knowing why you’re there will take your power away." It’s dangerous not to be fully engaged.

If you want to have success that outlasts any job you have, then only love will find the way. It’s Like Saving Up Sex for Old Age Warren Buffett loved his work long before he had two pennies to rub together. Today, he is one of the richest men on earth. "You know, they say that success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get," he said. "Well, I don’t know which one applies in this case. But I do know that I wouldn’t be doing anything else. I always worry about people who say, ‘You know, I’m going to do this for ten years. I really don’t like it very well, but I’ll do ten more years of this and…’ I mean, that’s a little like saving up sex for your old age. Not a very good idea," Buffett laughed.

"I tap dance to work and I get down there and I think I’m supposed to lie on my back and paint the ceiling, or something, like Michelangelo, I mean, that’s the way I feel. And it doesn’t diminish. It’s tremendous fun." The research libraries are filled with studies that confirm that love is not just a warm and fuzzy topic; we’re talking about your survival in the competitive marketplace out there, with lots of people who want your job more passionately than you may.

Passionate people spend twice as much time thinking about what they’ve accomplished, how doable the task ahead is, and how capable they are of it. Your coworkers or competitors who love their work try harder, try more things, move faster, come up with more great ideas, and, frankly, get better opportunities to move up and contribute more than people who only do things for a living.

The job of leadership today is not just to make money, it’s to make meaning," said John Seely Brown, who presided over research for two decades at

Xerox

Park

. "Talented people are looking for organizations that offer not only money, but…spiritual goals that energize…(that) resonate with the personal values of the people who work there, the kind of mission that offers people a chance to do work that makes a difference."

Be warned: The relentless irritation of not loving what you do makes you a pain to be around and has been clinically proven to chip away at your health.

"We spend our health building our wealth," said author and financial advisor Robert T. Kiyosaki, paraphrasing the old proverb. "Then we desperately spend our wealth to hang onto our remaining health." After several successful, but unrelated, entrepreneurial stints, Kiyosaki changed careers again at nearly age 50 to write his first book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which has sold more than 17 million copies. Wouldn’t it be "better to do what we love in the first place so we don’t bankrupt our well-being" in a vain attempt to earn our way to freedom?

The Secret of Life

There is a good chance you feel there is something missing in life–or you are on an incessant search for meaning–until you make one simple choice. Those uncertainties can dog you in a never-ending but noble quest until you just go out and serve somebody. Builders from all over the world shared this recurring theme with us.

Frances Hesselbein, chairman and founding president of the Leader to Leader Institute, formerly the Peter F. Drucker Foundation, is best known for her leadership work with large organizations, universities, the

U.S.

military, and her 13 years as CEO of the Girl Scouts of the

United States of America

. She led the transformation of that vast nonprofit organization, which today has about 236,000 troops and almost a million volunteers. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom–

America

’s highest civilian honor–in 1998, and was the first recipient of the Dwight D. Eisenhower National Security Series Award in 2002.

Hesselbein, like most Builders, believes that there is "a powerful synergy when you combine service to others with passion for your own mission, your own work."

"We are called to do what we do, and when we respond to that invitation, it is never a job. When we are called to serve and we respond, it is joy and fulfillment," she noted. "The key to fulfillment is service and the key to leadership is not how to do, but rather how to be. Serving others is part of the ‘how to be’ character of a great leader."

Leadership author Ken Blanchard calls this Servant Leadership, wherein the goal of the leader is to promote not herself, but the goals of the organization and careers of the people she leads. It’s all about alignment of what’s inside your heart and what the world needs. It’s about finding what you love and doing that to serve others.

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I love this article so much — Hope you all feel the same like me….

In whatever you do in life, give yourself fully and find joy in simple things of doing things in the best possible way you ever can.. Also be happy in knowing that you have done the best in serving others… Cos real happiness and true fulfillment comes from the heart, being able to help others in every possible way….

+)

My dear frensss, I will try to post more inspiring stories with one wish, that you all will find the wisdom in living and the joy in loving……

The past blog is a reflection of the storm I had inside of me, that awful feeling of anger, also the pain of being hurted by someone you really care for …wish evrythin can just go smoothly in life, but nope it hasnt been that way to me… There are times I feel so down bcos of that, with no one to turn to…

I find comfort in those inspirational quotes and stories, and that is why I want to share that simple joy with others… I hope it gives you strength in woteva’s difficulty you have in life, cos hey no one life’s is easy…

thats enuf of my mambo jambo - take care guyssss….

Wif lotsa of love, Mel

When You Don’t Feel
the Love
It’s easy to forget to ‘love thy neighbor’—especially when that neighbor is preventing you from getting your morning coffee.
By Eileen Mitchell

‘Throwaway’ Kids and ‘Throwaway’ Animals Find Each Other When the troubled kids I taught started taking care of animals at a local shelter, they learned to accept unconditional love By Linda Lansdell Reprinted from "Angel Animals" with permission of Penguin Putnam.

A few years ago, I taught emotionally disturbed teens in a group home. My students, all in crisis situations, could be there for a day, a week, a month. Many of them required our lockup facility so they wouldn’t harm themselves or others.

These very tough kids–some were prostitutes or drug users–often came directly from prison to my classroom. They were society’s "throwaway" kids–youngsters without homes, street children bereft of families to love and care for them. They suffered from severe emotional problems. In the classroom, I could see their hearts were broken. Desperately, they needed to receive love. But more important, they needed to give it.

One summer, a friend mentioned an idea I thought would be a great program for my students. They could volunteer to help at our local animal shelter. The plan was simple. We arranged that every Wednesday morning, I’d bring over my little crew, and they’d shovel waste, clean the runs, wash dog and cat bowls, and feed the animals.

Then came the risky part of the program. After chores, the youngsters would earn the freedom to walk one of the dogs in the wooded area behind the shelter. Their walk together would be unsupervised. Students often ran away from our group home Yet here I was handing them the freedom and responsibility of walking from the shelter into a wooded area where I couldn’t even see them. Could they handle it? Would any of them run away? We began the project.

Each week, the staff and I carefully went over the list of students who had met the requirements. All week, students worked hard to curb their tempters, be cooperative, and get their schoolwork completed so they could have a morning with the animals. I emphasized to my students how much the animals needed their love and care. Soon, most of them were opening their hearts to the abused animals. They took pride in themselves and the kind of job they did because the animals needed them. As they served the animals, the youngsters were transforming before our eyes. We watched them learn to accept unconditional love from the dogs and cats.

I especially noticed the changes one day when a very special rabbit was brought into the shelter while they worked. The kids were horrified at the sight of this poor creature. He’d been dipped into a barrel of oil and left unable to move. The little rabbit could barely breathe. He was completely soaked, his eyes painfully filled with oil. Suddenly, even the most self-centered troublemakers among our group were consumed with concern for the rabbit. They asked a thousand questions and hovered round the staff as they worked to save the animal.

For the next week, they kept asking me to call to find out how the rabbit was doing. These troubled kids saw that the animals were lonely and desperate for love and attention. For maybe the first time in their lives, someone said to them, "Can you help?" Never before had they been considered contributing members of society. Yet these kids begged to volunteer at the shelter.

As we had planned, my students walked the dogs, unsupervised, in the woods for up to half an hour. They could have easily escaped into the safety of the thick trees. I impressed on each of them my trust and respect that they’d bring back the animal in their care safely and on time. Remarkably, I never lost a student or an animal. The animals in the shelter and the students in my classroom showed me that when "throwaway" kids and "throwaway" animals give and receive love from each other, they form relationships and families that help them to survive. The world may have forgotten about, and not needed, my kids, but the animals sure did. These shining animals showed some very needy kids the way back home from heartbreak and abuse.

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Hi,

Thank you for some encouragement given especially to you Sue about the blog I posted yesterday. I felt anger yesterday and now the feeling subdued with gratefulness. I am grateful things doesnt always end my way cos that way I learn the value of friendship and know that at the end everythin will work out just fine for me… That unworthy bloodsuckers will neva understand the value or wisdom to love others…. for that I feel sorry…… Ur imaginary world will not bring u anywher, cos reality is here, now, and present … appreciating those whose giving out their hearts to you is a true blessings but when u hurted that purity then u hurt yourself… cos u lose the best part in others towards you- sincerity n love… You have restricted your movement wif unnecessary thoughts of others intention and may not find urself in peace at heart..

I do choose to love rather being loved cos I learnt that happiness of having that purity to give is far more important than to expect being returned. I wont close my heart, cos I learnt that by living in reality, would means that things doesnt always go ur way….

We go our saparate ways n it has always been like that, but one thing for sure, you lose my frendship cos u choose to close ur heart to that… And as for me I dont have anything to lose, cos my love is not restricted to only you … I hav of it to share wif others, it is you who to lose….

Cheers, Mel

I am feeling so bad inside today…A frend just tryin to help me tonite but somehow I felt so hurted - again n again I am crushed…… like weeds bein stepped over many many timess, but I know I ll grow again…

What really hurts me is the fact that someone imaginary worlds seems to include me for being so obsessed, while my pure intention is to give sth out from my heart wif no intention of gettin sth in return. I used to expect sth in return but I got over that stage…Somehow, the whole drama return againnn…. I feel like to shout, yelled n swear….  but all i can do now is just smile in front of my comp, how this feelings are all just feelins, nuffin significant as it changes like weathers according to situation, time and conditions +)

Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.-Matthew Flickstein, "Journey To The Center"

I learn about that long time ago +) let it all be, take woteva comes and enjoy the present… no matte how others is puttin u down, leavin u on a difficult situation or makiin it hard for u to breath, I will stand up n walk wif smiles on my face n be the loudest person to laugh….

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.Morris West 

A frend has misunderstand me, again n again, I have become a burden…Well wot i can say is, get over it, deal wif it, n if u think i am such a disturbance then piss off….

I have my own things to deal wif n if my pure intention has been misunderstand then bugger off…  I dont need you, dont need those bloody stupid bloodsucker, who shorten my life each day… if u think it is best to stay away then tat wud be my good kamma, cos someone like u neva deserve a bit of my heart anywayy….

Id betta make use of that pure love to myself n the world I created..my creation wud b filled with laughter, sunshines, and music …. wif u, my world filled wif confusion, tears n pain…. it still wonders me why still i choose that dark path, but hey Im only human, my curiousity makes me do things unimaginable, tastin every bitter fruits there is, only to realize that sweet fruits is wot I already hav within….

I create my own sorrow so that I can realize n be content with what i got now…

Unimaginable how it hurts when someone you really care, let you go n sent you straight into the realm of darkness evrysingle time… well I guess that kind of person really not worth carin at all, not even worth mentioning, just like a piece of dirty cloth useless to clean anything.

Whatever Kamma that person creates from woteva intention at heart, then that is what will you received back in return.

This anger has now faded away… But one thing I need to mention is that I will as always be Me… I do whatever I like, but one thing you can be sure of, I don’t despise you but I do look down at you … Even if you talk to me, I will still talk back n laugh as I always would be, but my heart will looked down at you like a piece of dirty cloth useless from the starts.

today blog is a bit harsh but i hav to say it, i hav to let it out…..

anyway gnite

Hi Hi Hi again,

Got up one hour late this morning.. So happy bout the daylight saving — I guess that affect my mood too n evryone else…

Anyway this morning we had a beach walk activity n since the weather really bad, I was about to cancel the walk but I was already at the bus stop so I decided to continue with it anyway, plus a best frend bday today so I cant afford to miss out on that +)

We had Yum Cha n the food is just great and the company is even better +) … Then we walked from Bronte passes the cemetary and back to Bronte again.. Yupe it was raining so every 10 - 30 mins, we had to stop n find shelter…Tho it was quite a bad weather, but today activity has been very enjoyable to me

Oppss forgot bout the purpose of this blog. Well l I was asked by a frend about my blogsss today- yesss heapsss of them, i know i know - been posting it since 2005 - n nope i dont hav much time, but evrytime i connect to the internet, I will try to post some inspiring quotes or stories, with main purpose to wish evryone’s well, to promote happy thoughts and my way of spreading loving kindness to anyone anywhere

I also believe that evryone will always have time to do something that is enjoyable. So well I will always have time to keep bloggin +)

Got to go, hav to finish wif this assg……..Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So lazy nowadayssss..

Anyway

With Metta, Mel

1) How can we know that enlightenment is permanent? Surely if a state of ignorance can arise once, it can arise again? Or perhaps time is just a concept I don’t understand?

Knowing englightment would be like knowing how to ride a bike. Once you know how to ride it, you will know how to cycle everywher. Even if thers difficulty in the path, you can always stop cycling and avoid the rough path. +)

2) Is it possible to lose the insights we have gained, and slip further into ignorance, or does consciousness flow inexorably towards enlightenment?

Everything is possible in this world, but we are the master of our own mind and action. We choose our path and in doing so, it is always good to have the right understanding, wisdom n love in u.

Enlightment is not a goal but it is a process to find wisdom, tranquility and peace in you…. I believe the greatest enemy wud be from within, cos without the above quality, we will always be in the cycle of endless suffering.

3) Is it important to develop concentration? Sometimes I feel like my mind is expanding too fast without the proper foundations. But then I ask myself, what is really worth concentrating on?

It is for you to decide wot is the purpose for u in concentrating… Is it to find peace and calmness, then watch ur breathing in meditation or is it to find wisdom in you, then open ur heart to all beings n spread love to all them, then u know wots wise for others most of the time would be wise things for you to do…. Wisdom comes from love, compassion n understanding of sufferings, so that each times you make decisions u know tat the best decision, wud be sth that wont hurt others n urself ….

4) If wisdom is knowing the right thing to do, and virtue is doing it, then what stands between the two? Is there a secondary delusion which prevents knowledge from being translated into action?

I dont know how to answer this one, but all I know is that we choose our actions. Impediments in the path for doiing the right action would be from within n it is only you who knows… 

5) Is this samsara of time, space and consciousness unique? Or are there infinite samsaras, each with their own laws and concepts?

Again we choose samsara +) it is unlimited if we choose unlimited…Im not too sure of the qty but samsara is a place to learn, to be humble n to find love from within also to get to know ourselves better… Thru each struggle in our lives, thers always a lesson that can be learn…..

Dont seek wisdom thru books only, it is from ur experience, from ur own views of life n from ur heart also from ppl n nature…

Seek within thru experiencing the present.

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Hiiiii, the abv qty;s n answer is dedicated to a frend…

Anyway, the answer is only from my own point of view, which of cos wont always be aggreable …..

Take care n gnite

lov, mel

Been advised by a wonderful frend today bout contemplating on wot wud be my long term values or goals are, so then I can hav direction n purpose in life….Im feeling really down today, but so glad I ve talked it thru….

Well, It seems sth is missing in my life… somehow its really hard for me to be content wif wher im heading to, now… I have lived life n look for things to satisfy other expectation n needs… Somehow, it feels like 70% of evrythings ive done is mainly due to contribute my wholeself to that expectations…. I m happy in doin so, but it seems like thers no direction or sense of purpose in my life… It seems like I have no choice for my own to choose n neva b content wif wher im headin to in life.

A wise n wonderful frend help me to realise the above… Nish I wud hav to say ur the best frend, tat someone could eva ask for… Thanks for your patience n wisdom, also for ur help to figure out the missing puzzle in my life….

It wud be my endeavour to find out wats important to me or wot wud be my long term goals or values are, so taht wot im doin now hav sense of purpose, for my own sake n for others.

Im feelin quite relax, now. at least I realise wot hav made me feelin down most of the time….

Anyway hope u all be able to find that long term goals in ur life, to work on….

Lov, Mel

Hi All,

Geez Was just readin the blog I posted yesterday and realized how terrible my writings are… heheh… Sometimes I wonder , how can I graduate Uni with these kind of writings (wrong grammar etc). ANyway did some fixin… hope its much understandable now HEHE

Hmm I may add that the reason for me to tell all these is mainly becos I know some ppl who experience similar thing and even worse. Thru these experience, I learnt compassion and to shed tears towards all the spirits whose lost n full wif neg energy in this world. Seriously, one thing that need to be scared of in this life is ourself, since if we’re not bein in peace wif ourself, we can choose to hurt ourselvess and othersss.

Ghosts whose lost, are just like us, without no one to turn around to. With them we need to practice our compassion n loving kindness.. They are not something to be afraid but but sth for us to help thru our good intention n lov

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Its raining outside and Im so glad being at home now. I always have that safe and peaceful feeling being at home with my family, especially when it rains… Somehow, I feel protected against the cold and wet weather outside, plus having my sis or parents to watch movies together is always a great time to relax…..

Today, I feel like to talk about the weird experience I’ve got. I know few people maybe have experience similar things, but afraid to mention it or to face it… Spirits world is always a big question but I believe there are spirits all around us… Vividly remembering the days when I was terribly ill as a child .. All I can rmb is that I was terribly ill n doctors couldnt find whats wrong with me after one whole week stayed in hospital, so my parents decided to take me to see witch doctor..Hehe Yupee I was possessed n the bad spirits in me is tryin to take my life away….Thats wot Ive been told…Dunno whether thats true or not but Im fortunate enuf to survive that, tho Id been terrified with spirits from then on… You may believe me or may not but I write these experiences, with hope that someone may face their fears and live life with gratitude and compassion to other beings.. anyway the second encounter, that I can remember is to woke up in the middle of the night and hearin voices… When I opened up my eyes, I can see black shadow moving towards me. I prayed and closed my eyes as it gets closer to me… After a while, then I opened up my eyes again n saw that black shadow moved pass thru the wall…

I told my family bout wot happened in the morning but no one believes me.. heheh… guess its up to you to believe or not… Its just my story anyway, mayb after all its just a hallucination, but I know it is real to me.. Bein extremely conscious about it and rememberin every details of it makes me so sure that it was not just a simple dream..

I wonder whether someone else have experience that pattern during your sleep where you are conscious of what happens around you, but you cant even move your body at all… happens several times to me, in my younger days and everytime that happens, I can hear voices..  I have to admit I am still scared of it, up till now. When that happens I will make sure I wont open my eyes n will try to just move my fingers, to prevent scarry things from happening +)

The greatest gift in my life is to learn about loving kindness meditation and compassion. I still have bad dreams or nightmares, or sense other beings, but I learn to confront it… Like for eg; the other day I dreamt about moving to a house which were told that it is haunted… Instead of runnin away, which what I would normally do, I choose to stay and let myself be filled with sympathy and love, to wish that spirit truly well n be freed from whatever sufferings around it…I wont share other details in that dream but anyway that s how I deal with it- overcoming my own fears through love, wisdom and compassion.

Some people may experience weird things, also unsure and don’t know how to accept or deal with it, knowin that such things is not real. When difficulty to accept means running away, then it will be very hard to ever let yourself be freed from your fears, to be calm n peace with yourself n your surroundings. Rmb kindness from heart is always the best recipe to deal wif life, wif others and wif urself….

Lucky nothin weird ever happens to me anymore and if it is at least, I feel safe knowing that I know how to confront it ……. +)

Wif Metta, Mel

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Hey all,

Winter is cominnnnn very soon.. O dear harder to wake up each morning now… but anyway hope u ll enjoy the story.

Take care

Lov, Mel