Archive for March, 2007

Suffering

Monday, March 12th, 2007

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Quoted from Kahlil Gibran

Ooo Dear Was thinkin of puttin something funny but then got inspired from my convo wif frens… I guess wif me it is easier for me to love other beings, just simply becos the understanding, the feeling and the experience of sufferings has given me access to learn to love, to learn to appreciate, to learn more about myself n others…

Im still learnin n will always continue learnin cos i know i hav so many defilements, but one thing for sure, im not closin my eyes to only one side of coin anymore, instead thru the experience of the ups n downs in life, it is much easier for me to see two sides of coins then before… Instead of takin things for granted, I learn to be grateful, even breathin itself is a greatest gift a person can give cos i know deep down, I am special in my own way. Also thru this body, I have the opportunity to make a difference to myself or to anyone….

The Word that made a Difference

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

=The Word That Made a Difference How just one word of praise helped a shy student break through a mental block. By Gary Smalley and John Trent……

Sixth grade hadn’t been a banner year for Eric. Never very confident in school, he had a particular dread of mathematics. "A mental block," one of the school’s counselors had told him. Then, as if a mental math block wasn’t enough for an eleven-year-old kid to deal with, he came down with measles in the fall and had to stay out of school for two weeks. By the time he got back, his classmates were multiplying fractions.

Eric was still trying to figure out what you got when you put a half pie with three-quarters of a pie…besides a lot of pie. Eric’s teacher, Mrs. Gunther-loud, overweight, and terrifying-was unsympathetic. For the rest of the year she hounded him with ceaseless makeup assignments. When his mental block prevented his progress in fractions, she would thunder at him in front of the class, "I don’t care for your excuses! You’d better straighten up!" The mental block, once the size of a backyard fence, now loomed like the Great Wall of China.

Eric despaired of ever catching up, and even fell behind in subjects he’d been good at. Then came the remarkable moment. It happened in the middle of Mrs. Warwick’s ninth grade English class. To this day, some twenty-five years later, Eric still lights up as he recalls the Moment. The fifth period class had been yawning through Mrs. Warwick’s attempts to spark discussion about a Mark Twain story. At some point in the lecture, something clicked in Eric’s mind. It was probably crazy, but it suddenly seemed like he understood something Twain had been driving at-something a little below the surface.

Despite himself, Eric raised his hand and ventured an observation. That led to the moment when Mrs. Warwick looked straight into Eric’s eyes, beamed with pleasure, and said, "Why, Eric…that was very perceptive of you!" Perceptive. Perceptive? Perceptive! The word echoed in Eric’s thoughts for the rest of the day-and then for the rest of his life. Perceptive? Me? Well, yeah. I guess that WAS perceptive.

Maybe I AM perceptive. One word, one little positive word dropped at the right moment somehow tipped the balance in a teenager’s view of himself-and possibly changed the course of his life, even though he still can’t multiply fractions. Eric went on to pursue a career in journalism and eventually became a book editor, working successfully with some of the top authors in America. Many teachers are well aware how praise motivates children.

One teacher said she praised each student in her third grade class every day, without exception. Her students were the most motivated, encouraged, and enthusiastic in the school. I remember what happened when my high school geometry teacher began to affirm me regularly. Within six weeks my D average climbed to an A.

It’s wonderful when a teacher has the opportunity to inject a word of affirmation into a child’s life. It’s even better when that opportunity is seized. But perhaps the greatest honor of any teacher is seeing a child’s eyes light up when they discover something new about themselves and about the world around them. It’s what kindles their pride in being called "teacher."

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Inspiring dont u reckon!!! Believing in urself is the key to success in evrything. I guess during my school days, I have always excell in the subject where I really like the teacher… Being a teacher wud be very hard, I neva know but I wud reckon it will….

Dont really know wot to say today… Feel sleepy n so tired …

I guess the point im tryin to make is not bout bein a teacher but being a person that matter for urself n for others….

Praises as long as it comes from the purity of the heart is like a gift woteva u wish to call it, a gift to urself knowin that u can acknowledge the goodness in people n be grateful wif tat, and also a gift to others in helping them to believe in themselves….

U see most ppl, myself included can hate ourselves more easily than lovin others… this is why loving kindness meditation toward others always work well than to myself, cos its really hard to be kind to oneself n to love oneself…. It is always good to have kind words to others, because just like u, we all need encouragement n kind words as much as we need air to breath…. life is hard enuf, always be kind to urself n to others…

Those ppl whose got the opportunity bein teacher, the recipe in teaching may be all about love… lovin ur students in woteva ways they are, thru that u ll be able to accept them n vice versa….

Always, Mel

Failures

Monday, March 5th, 2007

So upset today wif myself… I feel like a total failure…sth happens at work n it makes me feel that way… I feel like I’ve lost my sense of directions in life….. I guess like Jules, I wonder wot is my life purpose ???

It has been years n years of yearning for wot so called better life, I have always been encouraging myself that life will turns out to be good, but now it seems that it goes down hill than goin up hill…… All my expectation tumble down like a block of building destroyed right in front of my eyes…. hopeless, i just stand still n hope tat its just a dream but now i hav to face that fear, that scary dream…Wot will happen to me in the future??? I do not know, all I can do is make the best of NOW, tho it is a scary feelins, that insecurity, helplessness, saddness n anger but I fully realise thru feelings like that, I have hope. That hope keeps me alive, to become a better person, to be understanding to others fault, to achieve things n be brave in woteva comes…. I am nobody whos tryin to be somebody in this world, somebody that matters for myself n for others. Thru that hope, may I grow stronger n wiser like lotus blossoms in the darkest filthy mud…….

With Lov, Mel

Ways for Growth

Friday, March 2nd, 2007

10 Ways to Bring More Growth into Your Life
It’s spring planting season–and time to transform your life as well. Here’s how to start ‘repotting’ to achieve your dreams.
By Diana Holman and Ginger Pape

Just as gardeners look for ways to promote growth in their garden, so, too, do people look for ways to bring more growth into their lives. Repotting is our term for how those who have outgrown the pot or container of their daily lives, are transplanting themselves into a larger growth environment. What happens to a beautiful, flowering plant that outgrows its container? If you don’t repot it, eventually it withers and dies.  Our book, Repotting: 10 Steps for Redesigning Your Life shows you how to rejuvenate your life by following our step-by-step process. No matter what your age, stage of life, or circumstances, you can benefit from the repotting process and philosophy. (Take the Repotting Test to see if you’re ready for a change.)
Here are 10 ways that to bring more growth into your life as spring approaches:
1. Rethink Your Landscape. Adopting a new perspective is the first step to successful repotting. Just as some plants need a different environment if they are to thrive, you need to start thinking in new ways, too. Ask yourself: What is really important to me? What trade-offs do I need to make to bring more light and meaning into my personal garden? What will bring color to my landscape? For example, if you are constantly traveling for work, but missing important family activities and milestones, you could revisit career/family priorities, and after consulting with colleagues and supervisors, make adjustments to your travel schedule.
2. Realize That Planting Is a Process. Slow down and create time in your schedule to research new avenues for personal growth. Don’t be afraid of empty spaces. A friend of ours who cut back on her schedule immediately filled the open time slots with new activities. Remember to let “fallow beds” lie—don’t fill up your free time until you know what you really want to do.
3. Weed Your Garden. Take a disciplined approach to finding more time in your day for activities that offer opportunities for growth. Make a list of the “must do activities,” then eliminate non-essentials from your day or week. A woman who ran a successful event-planning firm cut back on the number of clients she handled in order to make time in her life for painting classes and choral singing—two long-lost passions.
4. Let in More Light. Your true gifts may be languishing for lack of sun. In order to grow and change, you’ll need to open your mind to new possibilities, set goals that challenge you, and take some risks. A lawyer we talked to was offered a partnership in her firm. Instead of following the safe path she had pursued, she opened up to explore a completely different lifestyle–that of becoming a pastry chef. Ultimately she quit her job, giving up financial security in favor of a less constraining life.
5. Tend Your Garden Regularly. Whatever you choose to undertake—whether it’s building a new career, volunteering, or pursuing a new hobby—do something on a daily basis to make progress. Be fully committed, so that distractions won’t take your energy away from the tasks necessary to achieve your goal. A woman who wanted to use her spare time to do personal writing found herself distracted by TV programs–until she decided to unplug the set from Friday to Monday.
6. Cultivate Your Dreams. To repot successfully, you need to let your mind run free to entertain new concepts, ideas and avenues. Unleash your creative side by visualizing a new future for yourself. A mother of four, who had spent 20 years raising children, allowed herself to visualize a new identity. In the process of helping an exchange student living in her home, she discovered a talent for counseling troubled youth. She allowed her imagination to take her beyond her current role of stay-at-home mother to that of a therapist for adolescents.
7. Water Your Roots. Find the core values that motivate you. Make sure the life you are living is in sync with your deepest values and priorities. If not, see what you can do to realign it. Let’s say you feel the lack of spirituality in your life, but aren’t sure how to find it. For two of our repotters, the answer to spiritual fulfillment lay in serving non-profit community organizations. Two others, however, took a religious path: one started a Bible study group, and the other entered seminary and was later ordained.
8. Don’t Forget Fertilizer. When you expand your knowledge, you expand your options. For personal growth, ongoing learning is crucial. You can seek self-enrichment in a variety of ways and venues, whether to pursue a hobby or gain new credentials for a career. The stimulation of learning fosters new growth and change—and acquiring knowledge and skills can happen at any age. A middle-aged stock market analyst decided to go back to school for an M.B.A. so that she could start an entrepreneurial venture with her grown daughter.
9. Plant a Sample Bed. Until you try a plant in your own personal garden, you won’t know for sure if the conditions are right for growth. If they’re not, you can always rip it out and start again. Embrace trial and error. A woman running her own real estate appraisal company took training to see if she would like to become a massage therapist. While she enjoyed the nurturing aspect of this profession, she realized she couldn’t do it fulltime. She continues to run her company and sees massage clients on weekends.
10. Get Input from Other Gardeners. Tap into your network—family members, friends and colleagues—who may be able to give you feedback, advice, information and emotional support along your journey. As you benefit from the advice of others, you may also find that you’re helping someone else along the way. Among the many blessings of repotting are the social relationships you build along the way. An accountant we met wanted to change fields. She consulted her family, professional friends, and people who had known her throughout her life. This research reconnected her with long-lost friends, deepening current friendships and building new, rewarding relationships in her new field
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Wot a great lesson…. Yes we shud re-pot ourselves every single time, to let ourselves grow stronger, wiser n compassionate thru times…. From that kind of growth, we learn meanings in life is self fulfillment thru others happiness…. How wonderful that simple feelins in carin for other beings … That peaceful, lovin, contentment all mixed to one with the blessin of joy n gratefullness …..
I just watched notes of the scandal n gosh it was really good, movie was beautifully played n it is an intense dramatic story… the movie portrayed humans behaviour on the needs for us to exist, to be recognised, to lov n to be loved. Beside that the most important lesson is that innocence n purity without wisdom is foolish…  That itself raises question of how to develop wisdom??? I guess with me, I believe if we look deep within ourselves, we know wots good n bad in every action we take, wisdom is all about choosin that action, with full realization n acceptance of the full responsibility associated with it ….
Ohhh dear im so sleepy nowww…. betta get some sleep…
take care guys….
as always hugs to u all
lov, mel